


5Am

by Sydney563



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), supercorp - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Kara saves Lena, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, POV Lena Luthor, Protective Kara Danvers, SuperCorp, lena gets kidnapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:48:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23060458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sydney563/pseuds/Sydney563
Summary: Lena wakes up after being kidnapped and realizes she screwed up and is a million miles away from anyone who can help her, but we all know Kara can't help it. This takes place after the reveal and the 100th episode, but things are different. I'm not good at summaries, but there's a ton of angst and a little bit of death. This is a one shot i couldn't resist when i heard the song 5 AM and this happened. My other story will be updated soon, when i have more time off of work....
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 442





	5Am

It hurt to breathe.

That was the first thought that peeled my eyes open. Second thought was, everything fucking hurt. I groaned, rolling onto my side, the cold press of mud against my skin made me gasp. Sending shivers through my entire body. It was dark, darker than I’d experienced night in a very long time. I’d spend far too long in a city, the lights of humanity polluting it, I’d forgotten how dark the world could get.

I licked my lips, cringing at the sting of open cuts and the salty metallic taste of blood. I blew out a slow breath, swallowing down a dry throat. I lifted a trembling hand, wincing at the pain, and pushed to sit up. The ground was soft, muddy and smelled of the forest. Mossy and damp. As I righted myself, I felt the open cuts, the scrapes, the scratches and the broken bones. The dried blood tugged at my skin, followed by the simple warmth of fresh blood running free as I tore open whatever healed.

“Fuck.” I tried to look at my hands, the moonlight doing very little to illuminate anything through the tall trees encasing me. My pale skin was covered in dark bruises, cuts and my left ring finger was bent at an odd angle. I closed my eyes at the memory of my captor twisting it until it snapped. I took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of clean fresh air filled with evergreen.

I was in a forest. But which forest and where? My captors had accents, but I couldn’t pinpoint if they were human or alien. In time, I blacked out from the pain they inflicted and silently prayed I wouldn’t wake up. I blew out a shaky breath, looking around until I found a fallen tree I could lean against. I crawled towards it, clenching my jaw as pain threatened to overwhelm me back into unconsciousness.

I made it, falling back against the cold bark, stretching my legs out. My pants were torn, ragged gashes all along my legs. I could feel my shirt was torn to shreds by the way the cool air snuck in to whisper across my skin. I licked my lips again, thinking back on the demands they made. Holding me hostage for something my fucking brother did, the new weapon he created. And when he failed to produce, laughing in my face on the screen as he basically gave them permission to kill me, I closed my eyes. And for the first time in a very long time, I let go. I knew this was the end, so be it. I had nothing left to lose, and nothing left to give. I was tired.

I lasted a solid thirty seconds into the beating before I blacked out, I knew my heart had stopped at one point. Exhausted from four days of beatings, torture and simple heartbreak. And at the last moment, she slipped across my thoughts. Her blue eyes, the love burning in them. I felt peace, and immense sadness as I realized in the final seconds of my life, I loved her. Finding clarity in the final moments of life, far too late to act. Far too late to tell her I loved her so much.

But then I woke up in the mud, bloodied and battered. I was alive and hating the stupid nanotechnology I’d injected last week as a test. I’d thought I killed them, waiting to push them out through my lymphatic system. They had to be why I wasn’t dead, but also why I was broken beyond belief. They used what little power they had to revive me, then abandoned me. Like so many others.

I tipped my head back, resting it on the tree, staring up in the clear night sky. I blinked a few times until Cassiopeia shimmered down at me, as if she was waving. Europe, I was in Europe. I bit the inside of my cheek as the sky shifted, I was a million miles away from help. No one could hear me scream, no one would hear my heartbeat. I prayed to the constellation who reminded me so much of the other beautiful god in my life, to send a message out in the heavens, send my heartbeat out there so Kara could hear it.

I swallowed hard at the last thought. She once let it slipped she listened to my heartbeat, searching it out, singling it out of the billions on this planet, and focused on it. It was her way to check on me from afar, and it kept her grounded when the thoughts in her head threatened to overwhelm her. My heart. The heart of a Luthor was her north star.

I blew out a shaky breath, I had to move, or die here again. “Fuck.” I took a deep breath, taking stock of the broken ribs rattling in my chest, grabbed the tree and pulled myself up to my bare feet. I cried as every bone in my body begged me to collapse and let them be. Sobbing as my fingers dug into the tree, I glanced around. It was dark, but the moon above shifted just enough to cast silvery light around me. It wasn’t a bright spot light, but I could manage. I could navigate and pick a direction. Left, right, north or south.

I closed my eyes, flipped a coin and choose south. I stumbled a few steps, my bare feet sinking into the cold ground with every step. I kept close to the trees, leaning on them as I moved one painful step at a time. I cried, tears running down my face. My body once more begging for me to lay back down and just let it be. It wasn’t like I’d survive much longer in the middle of a dark European forest in the middle of who knows where.

I focused on putting a time line together. How long had I’d been missing? Five days? Eight? I wrapped an arm around my waist, cradling it in a desperate attempt to hold in some warmth. It’d been a week since I last saw her. Running into her as she walked out of Catco, pushing up her glasses and laughing with Nia. She caught my eyes, and the world stopped. The smile faded from her face, and the air grew thick. I watched her hesitate with coming towards me as I moved towards the front doors. I saw the pain in her eyes, the defeat. I’d finally succeeded in pushing her the furthest away, I pushed her into doing exactly what I thought she was doing all along. Treating me like the villain hidden in the underlines of my family name. She tipped her head down, and walked away from me.

She’d never done that before, even when I was stabbing her with verbal knives. She took it, and only walked away when I kicked her to the point she had to leave. She’d leave only to come back the next day, renewed vigor to fight for me. Fight for our friendship, fight for the love we’d silently developed over the last few years. But not this time.

Kara had finally given up on me. The one person I knew, through all of my self doubts and sense of betrayal, loved me for me, gave up on me. She’d fallen in line with the hundreds before her, but this time. This time, it devastated me. I never went into Catco, I returned to my car and drove right to my labs to work on the nanotechnology I promised Alex I’d finished a long time ago. I felt the panic of living in a world where Kara Danvers stopped loving me, and I had to do something to show her. Show her I knew her true feelings, finally, and I was fighting my nature to allow my true feelings for her live inside a dead heart. I was in love with her, and it took her turning away from me to realize it.

I coughed, tasting blood. “You didn’t know who to love, until you were lost, Lena.” I rasped the words out into the night air. My breath clouding in white puffs. I crept a few more steps, checking the sky once more. It had to be close to five in the morning, the sun would be up soon. It’d give me warmth, light, and I could assess everything. I felt my heart skip, and for a split second, I wished she’d hear it. Hear it and fall out of the sky to my rescue. But I was too far away. Even super hearing had its limits, and I was well outside of her limits.

I took a few more steps, tripping over a small root sticking up. I fell to the ground on my knees, crying out from the pain. I rolled to my side, curling up into a ball as I sobbed until my lungs hurt and my ribs felt like they were cracking all over again. I was going to die here, cold and alone. Exactly like I wished for.

She’d told me she tried to change the timeline. She’d gone back to key moments in our friendship, trying to reveal her identity at a better time. And each time, we failed, and the world fell apart. Either I died, she died, or everyone we cared for died. It was as if time had a hard line for us to follow, and we couldn’t deviate. I remember looking at her, half laughing at the idea until she looked me dead in the eye and spoke.

“I always chose you, Lena. I’d always choose you.”

With those words, it was as if she sucked all of the air out of my lungs.

No one ever chose me, unless there was something for them to gain. Money, power, notoriety. And yet, I had a literal god who could have all of that in the snap of her perfect fingers, chose me because of who I was underneath the façade I put up.

Those were the last words she spoke to me before she threw her decision down like a dirty gauntlet.

I coughed again, blood dribbling out the corner of my mouth. That was one week and one day ago. A lifetime ago. I rolled onto my knees, pushing up to my feet once more. If I was going to die, I was going to do it one step at a time, not in a ball in a muddy hole.

I pushed away from the tree, cradling both arms against my body as I took slow steps. I thought about every moment I ever shared with Kara. The good and the bad. Then I thought of the moments I shared with Supergirl. The good, the bad, and the infuriating. It was so hard to digest she was one in the same, but then I merged the good. Kara and Supergirl were always there for me, saving me, caring for me, and loving me in a way that betrayed all of my sensibilities. She knew I was a Luthor, but trusted me. The few times she didn’t was only because of someone else’s distrust leeched over, and even then, she felt bad.

I stumbled a few more steps, my feet sinking deeper into the mud. I was so cold, I couldn’t feel it anymore. Hypothermia was creeping its way in, and in a few hours, I’d slip into unconsciousness and never remember how cold I really was.

I began thinking about my life before Kara. It was like a empty room made out of glass. I could look out, see the world around me and the happiness of others. I could almost touch it all, but was always stopped by a thin sheet of glass. I was always just an inch or too far away from the things I wanted. Love, warmth, happiness. Then Kara came in. Showing me all of those things were possible, no matter where I came from. I could have them, I deserved them. And near the end, I started thinking I wanted her, maybe I deserved her. She was the reason why none of my relationships lasted, I always compared them to her. I wanted to be good for her, I wanted to be the good she saw in me, and I wanted her like Mon-El had her.

I chuckled in the cold air. “Mon-El. I was so jealous of him.” I swallowed, tasting more blood. My legs were growing heavier with every step, making me wonder how much blood I had lost, and from where. There had been knives, knives stuck in my sides as my brother watched with pure amusement, refusing to bend to my captors demands.

Mon-El cornered me moments before he returned to his time. “She never looked at me like the way she looks at you, Lena.” He glanced over at Kara with Alex, her face lighting up when she locked eyes with me. “She’s stubborn and won’t ever outright admit her feelings. Just like you.” He turned and walked way as Kara scooped me into a hug.

But then another crisis, another alien attack, and another project to save the world took our time. We barely spent time together before the world slowly began to unravel. Lies revealed, betrayal thrown into raw wounds like salt, and I forgot I loved her. That I was in love with her.

I sniffled, looking forward at the endless darkness ahead of me. “That I’m still in love with her.” I felt a tear slip down my frozen cheek. “Fuck.” I wiped my face with the back of my broken hand, more tears falling. “I love you, Kara. And it’s too fucking late.” I cursed my fucked up inability to be a human, the inability to just say what I felt, my inability to love because I thought I couldn’t. It all fell on my broken chest and heart like a thousand pound weight, crushing it. “I love you, Kara.” I started thinking of the seven hundred different times I could’ve told her. Over coffee, dinner, snuggled up into her side on movie nights, or in the middle of me screaming my betrayal at her. I could’ve told her a million times, no matter if I was angry, or just beyond smitten with her. I could’ve told her and set myself free. I could’ve told her I loved her and let her decide if I was worth loving or not.

I closed my eyes, wishing the hypothermia to move quicker. I wanted that listless sleep for the simple fact all of my pain would go with it. I took another step and paused as the feeling of cold, hard asphalt hit the bottom of my foot. I opened my eyes. It was a road. A dark winding two lane road, with a sign telling me in German a small town named Cochem was ten kilometers away. I blew out a shaky laugh, crying as I took another step. Ten kilometers. I only had to walk six miles, six simple miles. I ran more than that on my free mornings.

My laugh turned into an aggressive cough, rattling my lungs to the point I fell to my knees, gasping for air. I pressed my broken hands against the cold road, wheezing as my lungs fought for air. My heart pounded in my ears, searching out any oxygen I could give it. Then I heard the crackle in the bottom of my right lung, the pressure in my chest around it, the immense pain. My lung had collapsed. I cried as I clawed at my chest, shaking my head. “No, no. It’s just six miles. Let me get there, please. Let me call her.” I looked up at the sky, at Cassiopeia. “Please, let me live a few more minutes. Just until I tell her I love her, have always loved her.” I sobbed as the clouds moved, covering up the clear night sky and the stars. A silent sign.

I nodded, understanding and let go, falling to my side onto the road. I closed my eyes, my chest hitching as it struggled. I ignored the pain, the blood leaking out of my mouth, and focused on my heartbeat. Praying that somewhere in this world, she’d hear it. And know the last few beats of my heart, had her name wrapped around them. “I love you, Kara.”

* * *

“Lena Luthor.”

I heard my name called as if someone was speaking through a glass tube. I opened my eyes, wincing at the bright light, and closed them again.

“Lena Luthor.” The voice spoke again, a German accent adding an odd emphasis on my last name. I moved my head, wincing at the excruciating pain in my temples.

“Lena Luthor. BP is stable, lung sounds clear. She’s stable.”

I swallowed, opening my eyes again. Squinting through the white light to look around the room. I was in a dark hospital room, monitors surrounding me as the beeped, signaling I was very much alive. I turned to look at the voice. “Where?”

“Dusseldorf. At University Hospital.” The nurse leaned over, tugging a blanket up. She was older, with a kind smile. “Its wonderful to see you awake, Ms. Luthor.” She grabbed a chart, scribbling on it. “The doctor just left, but I can get him if you would like.”

I shook my head, pausing as my raging headache stopped me. “My chart. May I?”

The nurse smiled, setting it on my lap. “Of course. I’ll go get you some water.” She adjusted the bed so I was in a sitting position. I could barely feel anything, all of the tubes in my arms delivering high grade painkillers.

The second she left, I picked up the chart.

Seven broken ribs, collapsed lung, fractured ankles, three broken fingers, multiple stab wounds in the back, sides, and arms. I’d lost a lot of blood, had a total of forty two stitches throughout my body, and was covered in bruises. By all medical science, I should be dead from hypothermia right now, along with the trauma of my injuries. I set the chart down, my eyes blurring with tears.

I was alive.

I should be happy, but I wasn’t. There was a pain heavier than the rest that fought through the painkillers. It sat right on my heart. I pressed a bandaged hand over it, feeling it beat slow and steady.

“Did you know, if I sit right above the Earth’s atmosphere, I can tune my super hearing to specific sounds all across the planet? Like a satellite?”

I closed my eyes at the sound of her voice, swallowing hard.

“My cousin didn’t think I could do it. Brainy said the statistics were less than agreeable for it to succeed. Alex thought I was crazy, determined to find you the old fashioned way. Beating up your captors in interrogation.” She paused, blowing out a breath. “Then they told us you were dead. They’d killed you and dumped your body somewhere we’d never find it. But I couldn’t believe them, my heart wouldn’t believe them. In the alternate timelines, any time you died, my heart stopped for three seconds. I could feel you leave me. It was like someone ripped my heart out and crushed it.” I felt her move closer to the bed, but didn’t dare open my eyes. “They showed us pictures of you. Proof they’d killed you after Lex refused to meet their demands. Alex, J’onn, the rest, tried to convince me you were dead. I mean, hey, I couldn’t hear your heartbeat, right? So you had to be dead. But I knew.” A warm hand covered mine, her strong fingers slipping in between mine as gentle as she could around my broken ones. “My heart was still there, pounding, racing, telling me I had to find you. I was angry and flew outside the Earth so I could scream without hurting anyone. That’s when I heard you. Your heartbeat. The only sound in this world I’ve really listened to. My favorite sound in the universe.”

“Kara.” I rasped her name out, my throat thick with emotion.

“Look at me? Please?” I heard the tears in her voice. “Look at me and I promise, I’ll leave. I just need to see you, look in your eyes one more time.” She sniffled.

I opened my eyes, looking right at Kara’s red rimmed blue eyes. She smiled as a tear slid down her cheek. She looked exhausted, her hair was messy from sleeping in anything but a bed, and her cheeks were flushed. Her glasses were tucked in the collar of her sweatshirt. She grinned. “Hey.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but fell into soft sobs. Kara stepped back. “Oh, I’m sorry.” She went to let go of my hand, when I used what little strength I had to squeeze hers. She was so warm.

“No. Please.” I swallowed, pushing the lump down. “I’m sorry. I got lost.” I felt my heart expand at the soft smile she gave me.

“But I found you.” She let out a slow breath, leaning forward in the chair she sat in, pulled up to the edge of my bed. “I found you, Lena. Right underneath your favorite constellation, Cassiopeia.” She turned to look at my bandaged hand, my fingers a black purple color. “You’re not dead. You’re alive. And in time, you’ll heal and be back to running those twelve miles in the morning.” She licked her lips, her brow turning serious. “I have to tell you something, and I know you’ll probably hate me for it. I’m done keeping secrets. I also never leaving you alone again, I know you hate me. But I won’t, I can’t lose you, Lena.” She turned to look at me, fear radiating in her eyes. She paused sucking in a breath. “I love you, Lena. I’m in love with you, and I can’t live without you knowing. I will always love you, no matter where you decided to keep me in your life. When they told me you were dead, and I saw the pictures, it was like losing my planet all over again. I’d lost the one person…” She paused, biting her bottom lip as she slid her hand free from mine. “Even though I knew you were alive, the idea of you dying and never telling you my feelings, it burned. You’re the first person I was Kara with, the true me. Kara Zor-El. It’s why I fought so hard to earn your forgiveness. I thought it was saving a friendship, but it was more than that. I was trying to earn back the love I knew I was losing.” She fidgeted with the edge of blanket. “Alex will call tomorrow with the details of getting you home. You’re in DEO protection until your brother’s remains have been identified and the rest of your captors are sent to Fort Rozz. I’ll keep my distance, but not like this. I won’t ever let this happen to you again.”

“My brother’s remains?” I cleared my throat.

Kara’s jaw twitched. “Alex will give you the report.” Her eyes darkened. I knew, from what Alex had told me, Kara had an anger buried deep inside her. One that was dangerous and incredibly powerful if provoked. It took a lot for her to contain it in the early days of her becoming Supergirl, the power she wielded was immense and she’d shown little mercy. And if she knew my brother had allowed my captors to do what they did, I was surprised there were remains, not dust. She went to stand up, when I caught the edge of her sleeve.

“Wait.”

Kara looked at me, her jaw still twitching. “You should rest. I snuck in here when the nurse told me you’d soon wake up.”

“I love you.” I frowned when the words came out as a soft whisper. “I love you, Kara. And no matter what, I’ll always choose you. I chose you when they demanded I reveal your secret identity. I wiped my brother’s memory the night before I was kidnapped, knowing he was making side deals with some terrorist organization to wipe you out. I chose you when they beat me mercilessly, and I chose you in my last few breaths. Selfishly wishing you’d come and rescue me.” I smiled through the tears. “I chose you a long time ago, but refused to listen to my heart. Love scares me, because it’s always hurt me.”

Kara’s face softened as she took my hand. “I’ll never, ever hurt you, Lena. I promise.” She leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll always love you until time forces me not to. Even then, I’ll carry you in my heart forever.” She leaned forward, kissing me as gently as she could, avoiding the stitches in my lip. I kissed her back, hating our first kiss was like this. I wanted to kiss her until all of the air ran out of my lungs. She leaned back, kissing the corner of my mouth before moving to lean back.

I tugged her hand, pulling her closer as I sobbed. She took the hint and gently crawled into the bed, taking me in her arms as carefully as she could. I buried my face into her chest, crying out years of pain, filling the empty spaces back with her warmth. She held me as I sobbed, whispering her love until I fell asleep.

I may have died, but I was reborn that day, the breath of life pushed into my lungs by three little words spoken by the blonde woman who’s arms I was cradled in.

And when I walked out of the hospital three weeks later, it was with her hand in mine with no intentions of ever letting go. We had our entire lives ahead of us together, and I wasn’t afraid of what the future held anymore. I was loved, and loved back. My soul had found it’s one true mate, and even though this time line was riddled with foolish mistakes, I’d relive it a thousand more times to get to this point. Holding her hand as she whispered she loved me, walking slowly with me as she carried my bag and I wore her clothes. We were going home to start our life together. A super and a Luthor, hopelessly in love with each other and willing to fight the fires of hell to stay together. Or just my entire family hell bent on killing the both of us.

As she sat me in the passenger seat of the rental car, I grabbed her wrist, running my thumb over the small tattoo of the constellation that guided her to me that night. I had a matching one on my left wrist, where she always pressed a soft kiss to after kissing me stupid. Leaving me breathless and warm.

I may have died, but I was reborn into a world where I was unconditionally loved for who I was. And I loved Kara Danvers just as much, if not more.


End file.
